Saturday, February 25, 2006

Dreams..

Some people believe that dreams are like signs or hints; they prepare you for what's to come, give you a glimpse of your own future and warn you of certain people and places so that you may avoid them and their circumstances in real life.

Others are sceptical. They believe that dreams are a combination of your thoughts, desires and imagination. If one spends a whole day watching horror movies, one is bound to have nightmares. If one spends a whole day watching comedies, one is bound to have pleasant dreams. And if one spends a whole day watching porn, one is bound to have...... I'm sure you get the point!

Then there's the final group which includes people like me. People who are partially sceptical but somehow find themselves questioning their dreams every now and then. I must admit that some dreams are too realistic to ignore, too detailed to avoid looking into, too precise to let go of.

I once had the same dream three times. The thing that strikes me the most is that I had these dreams at different times, in different months, but in the same year. The dream revolved around Judgment day. It involved me going to Hell whilst having to watch all my family and friends go to Heaven. At first, I chose to ignore it but when I had the same dream with the exact same details, I knew that I had to analyse its contents.

Some people told me it had something to do with God being angry at me. He was trying to warn me of how my destiny would turn out to be if I carried on behaving the way I did, treating people the way I did and following the same path I was on. The ironic part is that I was a pretty innocent girl at that point. I didn't know what dating was, what clubbing was, and what swearing was. If that was the case, I should've had that dream recently!

This dream doesn't worry me as much as the one I had last night. I had a dream that my parents were with me here in Leeds. My younger sister had decided to tag along. My parents were planning on going out for dinner and so my mother asked me to keep an eye on my sister while they were out. I particularly recall her warning me not to feel tempted to go out with my friends and leave my sister behind. But I was, and I did. The next thing you know, I received this phone call from my mum, who was sobbing, telling me that my sister had been involved in an accident and was rushed to the hospital. I remember rushing to the hospital in panic.

When I finally got there, I was informed that my sister was in a stable condition but was being operated on. My parents seemed to be alot calmer. They seemed to be alot more relaxed now that my sister was in good hands and so I breathed a sigh of relief and decided to go out for some fresh air. Before I could even leave the hospital doors, my mum came rushing out with my sister in her arms. She was still, unlike my mother who was now hysterical. She was screaming, wheezing, whaling and shivering. My sister's corpse lay there exposed to everyone. I walked towards her and put my hand on her face. The tears streamed down my cheeks as I tried to absorb the sight before me. The next thing I remember was me rushing out into the cold shouting my sister's name and asking God to take my instead.

I woke up screaming and crying. It was horrifying...... How can I possibly ignore such a dream?

Monday, February 20, 2006

Piece of art? Or purely horrendous?

NOTE: Some of you might find some of these images disturbing, if so, please feel free to either scroll down and read the text that follows, or to skip this post! :)












Body piercings have been a fashion trend for decades! From nose piercings to navel, eyebrow, lip, tongue, upper ear and upper lip piercings, body piercing is becoming increasingly fashionable!

As a person with nine piercings, three on one ear, two on the other, one on my upper ear, one on my nose, one on my eyebrow and one in my tongue, I don't know HOW some people find body piercings disgusting!

When I meet people for the first time, most of them eventually (if not immediately) comment on my facial piercings. Depending on where these people come from, the commonest remark i've heard so far is either "eeeeeeeeew, doesn't that hurt" or "wow, that looks really nice on you, maybe I should consider getting mine done!"

By now, I think you would've guessed that the first comment is mostly made by arabs, while the second is made by EVERYONE ELSE!

I understand why most Arabs find piercings unusual. Let's face it, how many of you have spotted ANYONE walking around with anything other than an ear piercing in Oman? I personally haven't seen more than FOUR!

Some people ask me why I got my piercings done in the first place . Some are convinced that i'm turning gothic, others are convinced that it's a matter of westernisation and t.v. influence. Some are even convinced that certain piercings have a sexual component accompanying them... hmm... I wonder which ones they're referring to :S

I have to admit that I'm obsessed with piercings. I think that they are beautiful. Maybe not all of them, but the commonest ones definitely grab my attention. I'm not denying their health risks or anything. In fact, I am fully aware of most if not all of them! For those of you who don't let me just summarize some of the main health risks accompanying body piercings:

~ Cartilage piercings (especially upper ear) tend to stretch with time. This is because the area surrounding the hole usually deteriorates! Some eyebrow piercings, if not handled with care, can actually cause the skin surrounding the hole to stretch so much, that eventually the whole bar falls through the huge gap created by the stretching! In this case, the person is left with a flap of skin dangling from their eyebrow or in less severe cases, a scar!

~ Needles used in piercings, if contaminated or re-used, can cause the transmission of a variety of diseases (such as HIV or Hepatitis C) and infection of the pierced region. Navel, or belly piercings, can actually cause the infection of major organs located in the stomach. Tongue infections can have devastating effects on the tongue. Along with the swelling and the severe pain, the tongue tends to look bruised.. not a pretty sight!

~ Piercing the WRONG area by damaging a nerve can also be risky.

~ Allergic reactions to the metal bars or studs used can also cause infection.

After mentioning all these health risks, I know what most of you are thinking; "If she knows all this how can she still find them appealing?" Well, the answer to that is with every step you take comes responsibility, and if you're not responsible enough to either take care of the area you've pierced or make sure that the needle used is new, sterilised and clean and that the person who's doing it for you isn't some freak that sits in little alleys and offers them for a fiver, then THIS IS WHAT YOU GET! If you KNOW that you're allergic to the metal bar/stud being used then ask for another one such as a titanium one! If you go to the right store and consult a qualified body-piercer, he will usually tell you wether or not you can get that area pierced by looking at it and checking for any complications such as nerves or veins or whatever that can be damaged!

People that have every single part of their body pierced can look intimidating and that's why I understand why most people find THAT ugly or unusual. I'm not saying that I would go that far and i'm not saying that I find THAT attractive (see picture one). In the same time, people can over do it sometimes! I mean, why would anyone want to pierce their own genitals for God's sake?The way I think of it is this, if you want to get something pierced, make sure you know what your doing and where you're doing it.

In conclusion, I would like to add that if you're still against body piercing or still think that they are ugly-looking then please feel free to elaborate :)

Friday, February 17, 2006

Tagged by degoat :)

This one's for you G;

~ Seven things to do before I die: (or atleast try)
1. Learn how to ride a motorbike.
2. Visit Rome and in specific the Vatican City.
3. Become a chef :)
4. Become a singer..... I can keep dreaming... I know :S
5. Try a flaming lamborghini :D
6. Go bungee jumping.
7. Have children :) I decided... I want them.

~ Seven things I can't do:
1. I can't cook rice.
2. I can't cliff-jump.
3. I can't crack jokes. I think I can! CERTAIN PEOPLE THINK I CAN'T! :P
4. I can't watch a football match if no one scores in the first 30 mins! I realised I tend to start day-dreaming if they don't, and lose track of the game!
5. I can't stop twirling my hair if i'm anxious, nervous, worried or concentrating on something.
6. I can't leave the house without my phone.
7. I can't eat sushi. I puke!

~ Seven things I always say:
1. 7amas
2. Ya man
3. Wussup
4. Daaaaaamn
5. illa ma
6. mmmmm
7. You're so mean.

~ Seven books I loved:
1. Pride and prejudice
2. Angels and demons
3. The da vinci code
4. Who moved my cheese?
5. Matilda :P
6. Extreme: Sharon Osbourne's autobiography.
7. Far from the madding crowd.

~ Seven movies I love watching over and over:
1. Braveheart.
2. A walk to remember.
3. The emperor's new groove.
4. Moulin Rouge.
5. How to lose a guy in 10 days.
6. 10 things I hate about you.
7. Never been kissed.

~ Seven things I get attracted to:
1. Anything that has chocolate in it.
2. Anything small. No preverted shit please! I meant baby t-shirts and shoes that sorta thing!
3. Puppies and kittens.
4. Art work. Paintings, pictures, still-life drawings.. anything.
5. Men in uniforms ;)
6. Music.
7. People (preferably men) with either Irish/ Scottish/ Australian accents.

~ Seven people I wanna tag:
1. Verbose (only cuz I know you won't do it)
2. arabpearl (just to get to know you better)
3. pizzaqueen (4 the same reason)
4. psycho.
5. libellula
6. lym ( cuz I know you've been tagged by G too :P)
7. bu7sain.

good luck!

Monday, February 13, 2006

Friends.

A simple word which holds great value and importance. Some say that friends are essential in one's life, while others believe that they simply come and go. What do I think? I think that friends do come and go but only the REAL one's stay forever.

When you leave your family and friends behind to study abroad, you don't really realise how challenging the experience is until you wake up one day only to find yourself lying down on someone else's bed, in an unfamiliar room, in a far away country with no one to guide you but your instinct. And when you do, only at that particular moment do you start appreciating your family and friends' presence. The loneliness and emptiness you feel at that very moment fills your heart with so much pain and remorse. You regret not taking advantage of their presence, not expressing how grateful you've been for everything they've done for you, and not telling them how much you love them.

You only come to realise how truly thankful you are for having these certain people in your life, until you are forced to temporarily replace them. The deeper you search for them, the more you realise that they simply don't exist. It's not true that you spend your whole university career friendless, but you certainly comprehend that the people you meet along the way are merely acquaintances.

You compare them to some of your closest friends back home only to regret ever doing so in the first place. Too many differences, infact no similarities at all. You question why you insist on comparing them to your closest friends, but you realise it is practically inevitable.

And even when you finally make new friends, you somehow continue to rely on your old ones for comfort and advice. You only share your secrets with those who have heard them once before. In the end, regardless of the amount of friends you make along the way, your old ones remain your first priority.

Despite your commitment to your old friends, you naturally grow closer to a new friend or two. You realise that although your old friends are irreplaceable, there is no harm in enjoying the company of others while you still can.

Your priorities do not change. You still love and miss your old friends more than words alone can describe. You do sometimes fail to keep intouch, but when you finally do, all is forgotten.

The day finally arrives. You re-unite. You grow more attached to each other than ever. You explain how thankful you are and you inform them of how lucky you have been for having them in your life.

Inevitably, they've all changed. Their interests, beliefs, views and ideas are all different. You choose to ignore your differences because in the end, the love you have for one another is strong enough to outweigh any barrier. You then realise that it's not enough. The change is too grand. You are two completely different people. Your personalities clash. You believe in and look for different things. You choose to ignore it once more and look forward to not having to deal with it when you separate once more.

You come back to the very same room that no longer feels unfamiliar. It is now yours. The bed belongs to you and no one else. Although alone at that very moment, your instinct re-assures you that you will shortly re-unite with the friends you made before the vacation.

You call the first. No answer. You try another number. No answer. After the third attempt, she finally answers. She pretends she doesn't know you and that you haven't even met. She then pretends she vividly remembers you but claims she's too busy to go out. You smile and say it's ok. Your instinct continues to re-assure you that there are two more to call.

Luckily, the other two seem to feel the same way. Before you know it, you stop hearing from them. They refuse to pick up your calls, or reply to your messages.

Having friends does not depend on how sociable a person can be. The most anti-sociable people have them! But you realise that it is not too long before you start waking up every morning to realise that you are once again all alone.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Babies.

Most people find kids or infants or children adorable. They treat them like Gods, shower them with kisses, love and care, and hope to have them in the future. I am NOT one of those people (I think)!

Babies and I are like oil and water. We don't mix and we certainly prefer staying as far away from each other as possible. Most people think that because they're really young, babies can not be blamed for their actions. Similarly, I am NOT one of these people. I think that babies are fully aware of everything they do, and they do it to grab attention! It's true that some can be cute, but the truth is even those can be problematic at times!

When I see babies, I try not to be so judgemental by immediately assuming they're going to be mean and annoying. But once I look at them with those big brown innocent eyes of mine and I give them a smile, their reactions remind me of why I CAN'T STAND THEM! They either start crying, making you look like a complete jerk for attempting to mess with the wrong kid, or they look away and pretend they never saw you. Some kids, out here in England, can also shock you by giving you the finger! YES.... the finger!

I visited Glasgow a few months ago to see a couple of friends, and I recall this one particular incident that continues to shock me until this very day. My friend and I were walking to the train station when we were approached by three 5-6 year-old girls. One of them was on her little tricycle, while the other two were too busy eating their crisps. At first, I couldn't help but look at them and smile. Let's face it, when one sees three 6 year-old girls with golden curly hair bouncing around and beautiful blue eyes, one can't REALLY avoid smiling at them. So I did. I looked at the youngest-looking one of them and I gave her a smile. Suddenly, the girl stopped cycling. She looked up at me and smiled back. I was thrilled; I couldn't believe that she had actually smiled back at me. It was definitely a first! I was so excited until she decided to dedicate HER version of a familiar song to me, "WE WILL WE WILL FUCK YOU!"

Like I said, kids and I were just destined to hate one another! Having to experience the blossoming of four different cousins was HELL! One of them found my hair so fascinating, he wouldn't stop pulling it. No wonder I barely have any left on my head! The other thought it was funny to slap me, infact I think I still have a mark. My favourite was the one who PRETENDED I was his best friend, until he watched toy story, found a new best friend, and started running away from me! I mean, he was TERRIFIED of me!

Kids always think they're smarter than you. They think they know everything. I know that I too was a kid at one point, but I was a nice kid. Had I been your child, the only problem you would've had to cope with would've been the sudden disappearance of food. I was an obedient child. I was quiet and shy and lovely. Unlike some of the devils i've seen!

Despite my extreme dislike for kids, I have to admit that i've improved. I mean, two years ago, hearing the word child or kid would've made me furious, let alone seeing one! Then one day, I had a dream that I had a baby girl called Rana, and the connection I had with this girl was extraordinary. I loved her so much and we practically inseparable. After I woke up and I realised it was only a dream, I decided that it was a sign. God was trying to teach me that kids might be a nuisance at times, but not when they belong to you.

Alot of women say that God's greatest gift to a woman is her ability to have kids. As a person who's not too fond of kids, you would think I couldn't be less bothered about it, but I would HATE to find out that i'm incapable of having my own children. I think I would be devastated if I found out I was infertile. The other day I was watching this programme about 35 year-old women who wanted babies but didn't have a partner. One of them, a former SMOKER, was informed that her eggs had dramatically decreased due to smoking, and that having children would prove to be very difficult! I have to admit that I did put my cigarette out then and there, but I also have to confess that I am currently typing this post with one hand because the other one happens to be holding a fag! IGNORANCE! *sigh* I was affected though... seriously! :^)

In conclusion, I would just like to say that I spent three days trying to think of something to write, so this is more of a DESPERATE attempt to post something! If you would like me to talk about something in particular PLEASE let me know because i'm running out of ideas here! :S

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Tagged for the first time :)

Thanks to Q.C. I have now been tagged for the 1st time... here goes:

Eight weird things about me:
1. I speak English all the time, even though I can speak Arabic and it's my first language. I just think my English's better :S
2. I have the strongest American accent (been told its a Californian one actually), when I was taught by British teachers and attended a British-system-based school for 14 years! T.V... I blame T.V!
3. I am a bit too emotional. I cry on the simplest things. These include seeing others cry and watching corny ads on t.v!!!!
4. I blog.... now that's weird :)
5. I speak to myself when i'm studying. I literally give out lectures to myself like a lecturer would do in a lecture hall... that sorta thing. I don't think i've ever punished myself for not understanding something though! ;)
6. I talk to my cats. I have full conversations. You should see what I do when I see a puppy or kitten on t.v. I go crazy!
7. I faint if I even get a TINY whiff of medical alcohol. I think i'm allergic to it :S
8. I sneeze continuously if someone touches my nose... we're talking constant sneezing for atleast 10 minutes! I feel sorry for the people i've dated. Picture this; candle-light dinner, gorgeous food, romantic atmosphere and all and then the guy leans against the table to pinch my nose............. the consequences.... HORRIBLE!

Eight attributes of my perfect lover:
1. He has to be physically attractive (atleast in my eyes) but modest in the same time. There's a fine line between arrogance and confidence!
2. He has to be taller than me. Don't date shorter ones! I know... i'm mean!
3. He has to have a good sense of humour.
4. He has to be sensitive. I'm not asking for "Romeo" or anything.
5. Has to be romantic. I'm a very romantic person so he has to be one too.
6. Has to respect me, accept me for who I am and be fair by giving me my rights as a woman. (I think these are three different things.. oh well)
7. Has to be intelligent and have an open mind. I wouldn't wanna have baseless conversations with him, and i'm not wearing an abaya or avoiding certain areas or people for no one!
8. Has to love pets. Preferably dogs.

I tag arabian prince, degoat and life :)

This is it.... anyone fit the description? haha ;)

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Student life...

I'm sure that most of you guys have either experienced or are currently experiencing student life. If you've already experienced it, then I congratulate you for making it this far. However, if you are currently a student adapting to this life-altering adventure, then all I can say is may God be with you!!!

I have now been a student in Leeds for two years. When I think of it, I try to convince myself that I have already passed the toughest stage; that being the first year. You see, alot of people are inclined to thinking that the most challenging part of being a student, is leaving your family and friends behind to start a whole new life in a foreign country, and in an environment where one is considered a stranger amongst new faces, new places, a new culture and a new life in general. And frankly, you only face this problem in your 1st year.

The first year does infact involve some pretty difficult phases that one has to adjust to. These phases include the famous "fresher's ten", the process of making new friends, finding a place to stay, getting along with your flatmates/room-mates, learning how to cook, understanding the different forms of a British accent and learning some of the commonest British terms, finding your new hang-out places, taking care of yourself whilst taking care of your studies, choosing the most appropriate mobile network that provides the most amount of free texts or free minutes, shopping at the cheapest grocery stores, opening an account at the most suitable bank, figuring out the off-limit territories in that country, staying away from bad habits by avoiding the temptation of having all the freedom one could ask for and more.

Managing the first year should be considered an accomplishment. It's pretty tough you know! Nevertheless, the experience has its positive effects. The student involved not only starts appreciating his/her family and friends a bit more, but he/she learns how to rely on him/herself, and therefore becomes alot more independent. The pupil also learns alot about him/herself and finally realises that being a student is not as simple as he/she had expected it to be.

Passing my first and most challenging obstacle, by making it to my second year, is something I am definitely proud of. When I think of the different things I learnt and the various things I experienced, I can't help but thank God that it's all over. After all, the second year is ALWAYS alot easier. Things tend to be alot more organised, one tends to be alot more prepared, and life tends to feel smoother. Or is that just another one of my attempts to try and convince myself that the worst part is over?

Some of you might have read my previous post entitled "older-men-magnet". In that post, I summarized the advantages of living in Hyde Park (oh how amusing sarcasm can be). However, in this post I would like to focus on a more specific part of Hyde Park. The area that includes the finest take-outs and grocery stores, the neighbourhood that includes the London suicide-bombers' house and finally the building in which I am currently staying in!

Living with two other people can have its pros and cons. Depending on who the poeple are, things can sometimes get a bit ugly! For example, if you're living with two COMPLETE strangers, who come from two different cities in England or who are simply not Arab, then you're going to have to start worrying about continuous house parties with plenty of booze, snogging, drug-abuse, sex and complete DRAMA. I know alot of you might think i'm exaggerating but believe me...... I WOULD KNOW! I lived with 5 last year!

Alternatively, if you're living with two of your friends or relatives, things do tend to be alot more under control. Mis-communication, differentiation in morals and beliefs and isolation are not an issue. Remember this is my OWN opinion, so if you disagree then it's completely understandable.

I luckily, live with two of my good friends. We're all from the same country and we're all from the same family... I guess that makes us relatives!! Haha, i'm not sure. Back home, all Blooshies are related to each other in some way, the same way that all Zanzies and Lawaties are!

Anyways, my main concern is not my flat-MATES but my FLAT. I have now survived life without hot water, heaters, lights, a microwave, a toaster, a toilet (at one point) and a decent vacuum cleaner. My conclusion? Who am I kiddin'? The second year is as tough as the first (if not tougher)!

Living without a microwave or toaster is not as big a deal as living without hot water, heaters, lights and a toilet. Let me fill you in on the details:

One very fine day, my poor flatmate rushed into the kitchen only to realise that the heaters weren't doing their job. Now because everything tends to be LINKED to something else here in England, without heat there's no hot-water! And so, my flatmates and I were forced to tolerate temperatures as low as 5 degrees C outdoors as well as indoors! I was forced to wear three layers all day, sleep with two qilts, shower in freezing water and wash my hands and cutlery in it too, drink cold tea/coffee and eat cold food (because the flat was so cold it was like an instant cooler) for four consecutive days! Hence the severe case of tonsillitis! :S

Now the lighting. Everyday, the flat surprises us by fusing one of our RECENTLY-BOUGHT and fitted bulbs! Three months ago, we had no lights in our rooms, two weeks ago in the hall-way, a week ago in the living room, and now in our bathroom! Yes ladies and gents, we have no lights in our toilet. Luckily, we have no WINDOWS in our toilet either!!!!!!!! You know what I realised? Taking a shower in the dark can be very difficult at times, especially when shampoo gets into your eyes or when you accidently use conditioner as shower gel or when you slip on your bar of soap.. you know that kinda thing! And after spending two nights trying to figure out how to change the bulb with no use, we realised that we had to think of an alternative. Our solution? Taking our laptops into the toilet to provide light!! PATHETIC!

The WORST case was when our toilet got blocked. Because we live on the bottom floor and because AGAIN everything's LINKED to something else here in England, sewage from all the toilets on the ascending floors has to pass by OUR toilet's pipes in order to leave the building. But when OUR toilet's pipes are BLOCKED, the sewage HAS TO FIND AN ALTERNATIVE METHOD OF LEAVING THE BUILDING so why not on OUR toilet FLOOR via OUR potty? The sight still haunts me. The worst part was when someone from upstairs decided to use the toilet for WHATEVER reason, and ended up flushing the STUFF away thinking it was never to be seen again, the outcome errupted out of OUR potty! The things I saw.......

Other than that, living in complete "filth" by not having a decent hoover is another problem. The hoover we've been provided with RELEASES dust and dirt instead of sucking it in! So we decided that we might as well not bother using it at all!

The one thing I keep asking myself is this: Is this what people refer to as "student-life" or is it simply a different form of POVERTY!